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In a surreal twist that has left both history buffs and casual onlookers alike scratching their heads, the esteemed visage of Abraham Lincoln has succumbed to a most unexpected fate: melting under the blistering Washington sun. On the day that Donald Trump and Joe Biden are set to square off in their first presidential debate of 2024, temperatures have soared to a staggering 40 degrees Celsius, and old Abe couldn't take the heat.

First, he was a little bent, and then his head fell off.

A Headless Leader: Lincoln's Ironic Descent

The 16th President of the United States, renowned for his steadfastness during the Civil War, has now literally lost his head, along with his left hand and one foot, all reduced to unrecognizable lumps. This tragicomic scene unfolded at Washington's Garrison Elementary School, where a wax replica of Lincoln stands as an artful candle. Or rather, stood.

From Monument to Melted Memory

Initially, a nearly six-meter-high statue of Lincoln, sculpted from the finest white marble, graced the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. In homage, the wax replica was installed last September. However, the first iteration faced a fiery demise before its grand unveiling, thanks to the overzealous use of more than 100 wicks, causing a premature meltdown.

Take Two: A Hotter Mess

The reimagined wax statue featured fewer wicks and a plea for moderation, urging admirers to extinguish the flames within a few minutes. This strategy worked—until today's searing heatwave ignored all pleas for leniency.

An Art Project Gone Awry

Despite best efforts, the unforgiving sun turned the wax figure into a puddle of historical irony. As the chair that once held Lincoln sinks further into the ground, one can't help but ponder the symbolism. On the day two modern leaders prepare to debate America's future, the past melts away, leaving us with a poignant reminder of both the fragility and the enduring nature of history.

A Nation in Flames, Literally and Figuratively

As Trump and Biden prepare to battle it out, perhaps the melted Lincoln is a fitting metaphor for American politics—heated, contentious, and sometimes falling apart. While the original Lincoln led with a cool head through tumultuous times, today's leaders might take a lesson from his melted doppelganger: sometimes, it's wise to keep cool under pressure.

So, as the sun sets and the debate heats up, let's hope our current contenders can withstand the heat—both from the blazing temperatures and the fiery exchange of words—better than poor old Abe.