DLNews by JTFMax:

"New Year, New Me (Sort of)"

As the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2023, Sam raised his glass of sparkling apple juice (because of New Year, new healthy choices) and made a solemn vow: "This year, I will lose weight, hit the gym, and be kind to every living soul!"

January 1st arrived with Sam's enthusiasm at an all-time high. He jogged to the local gym, only to find it closed. "No problem," he thought, "I'll just start my diet." Breakfast was a single kale leaf and a sniff of an almond. Sam was eyeing his neighbor's garden gnome by lunchtime with suspicious culinary interest.

By January 2nd, the gym was open. Sam enthusiastically entered, only to be greeted by machines resembling medieval torture devices. He cautiously approached the treadmill, accidentally setting it to 'Sprint or Fly Off.' After a brief and unplanned aerobatic display, Sam decided the stationary bike was a safer bet.

Meanwhile, being kind to everyone was proving to be a challenge. On January 3rd, Sam encountered Mrs. Crabapple, his notoriously grumpy neighbor. Armed with his new resolution, he cheerfully greeted her. Mrs. Crabapple, surprised by this sudden niceness, dropped her groceries in shock, leading to a scramble to rescue rolling oranges and a rather unfortunate squashing of a loaf of bread.

By the end of the first week, Sam realized that his diet mainly consisted of things that tasted like wet cardboard or were so spicy they could double as a fire hazard. The gym sessions left him feeling like a wobbly jelly, and his kindness seemed to cause more chaos than goodwill.

On January 15th, Sam had an epiphany while trying to meditate (another new resolution) and fell asleep instead. It wasn't about drastic changes or unrealistic goals. It was about balance and small, sustainable steps. Maybe he didn't need to be a kale-munching, weight-lifting, hyper-cheerful superhuman.

So, he adjusted his approach. He found healthier foods he enjoyed, like smoothies that didn't resemble lawn trimmings. He discovered the joys of yoga (and the perils of overambitious poses). And was he being kind? He decided that sometimes just a smile or a simple "good morning" was enough.

Sam didn't transform into a completely new person as the months passed. He didn't have six-pack abs or the patience of a saint. But he felt better, healthier, and a bit more optimistic. And occasionally, he still ate pizza because, let's face it, no resolution is strong enough to resist the call of melted cheese forever.

As the next New Year approached, Sam didn't make grand resolutions. Instead, he raised his glass (this time with actual apple juice) and toasted to small changes, realistic goals, and the occasional gnome-free meal.