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In a world where conversations about love, intimacy, and relationships often tread on eggshells, one petite powerhouse stood tall, breaking barriers and taboos with her charming accent and unyielding honesty. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, affectionately known to millions as "Dr. Ruth," passed away on Friday in New York, enveloped by the warmth and love of her family. She was 96 years old.
-Sexuality and how to deal with it was the theme of her life. "Dr. Ruth," as she was called in the USA, became a cult therapist in 1980 with her call-in show "Sexually Speaking" on the radio.
Born Karola Ruth Siegel in 1928 in Wiesenfeld, Germany, Dr. Ruth's early life was marked by hardship. As a Holocaust survivor, her journey to becoming the world’s most famous sex therapist was nothing short of extraordinary. Escaping the horrors of war, she found refuge in Switzerland and later moved to Palestine, where she served as a sniper in the Haganah during Israel's War of Independence. Her indomitable spirit carried her across the Atlantic to the United States, where she pursued higher education with the same tenacity that defined her life.
-Sexuality and how to deal with it was the theme of her life. "Dr. Ruth," as she was called in the USA, became a cult therapist in 1980 with her call-in show "Sexually Speaking" on the radio.
With a doctorate in Education from Columbia University, Dr. Ruth combined her academic prowess with an innate ability to connect with people. Her warmth, wisdom, and wit made her a beloved figure on radio and television, where she dispensed advice on everything from sexual health to romantic relationships. Her groundbreaking radio show, "Sexually Speaking," which began in 1980, transformed the landscape of public discourse on sex, paving the way for open and honest conversations that many had never dared to have.
After the Second World War, Dr. Ruth Westheimer went to Palestine. She volunteered for the Zionist underground organization Hagana and trained as a sniper. She was never deployed - she was seriously injured in an attack on her base.
Dr. Ruth's diminutive stature—just 4 feet 7 inches—belied her larger-than-life presence. Her infectious laughter and a direct and unapologetic approach endeared her to global audiences. She authored numerous books, hosted television programs, and was a sought-after speaker, never shying away from addressing even the most delicate topics.
Her impact extended far beyond her professional achievements. Dr. Ruth symbolized resilience, positivity, and the power of education. She taught generations that discussing sex was not only expected but essential for healthy relationships and personal well-being. Her legacy is empowering, encouraging individuals to embrace their sexuality with confidence and without shame.
Summer 2023: Dr. Ruth Westheimer at a parade for Israel in New York.
Dr. Ruth continued to be a vibrant and active figure in her later years, sharing her insights and experiences with the world. Even as she aged, her zest for life and unwavering commitment to breaking down barriers never waned. Her ability to blend humor with profound wisdom ensured that her advice remained relevant and cherished by all who sought it.
Early family photo: Dr. Ruth with her husband, Manfred Westheimer (1927-1997), and their children.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s passing marks the end of an era, but her spirit will undoubtedly live on. Thanks to her relentless efforts, she leaves a world that is more open, understanding, and accepting of human sexuality. Her family, friends, and countless admirers will remember her not just as a trailblazing sex therapist but as a beacon of love, kindness, and unyielding courage.
TV cult: Dr. Ruth Westheimer in 1985 with pop icon Cyndi Lauper.
As we bid farewell to this remarkable woman, we celebrate a life well-lived and a legacy that will continue to inspire future generations. Rest in peace, Dr. Ruth. The world is a better place because of you.
Always in the thick of it: Dr. Ruth Westheimer follows the inauguration of US President Barack Obama (62) in January 2009 in Washington.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Wiesenfeld, Germany, faced immense challenges from a young age. The rise of the Nazi regime overshadowed her childhood. In 1939, at the age of 10, Ruth was sent to Switzerland by her parents as part of the Kindertransport, a rescue effort that brought thousands of Jewish children to safety. This separation from her family marked the beginning of a journey fraught with hardship and incredible resilience.
Ruth lived in an orphanage in Switzerland, facing strict discipline and grueling work. Despite the harsh conditions, she pursued her education with determination. The pain of losing her family to the Holocaust was a profound and formative experience, shaping her empathetic and compassionate nature.
At 16, Ruth left Switzerland for Palestine, where she joined the Haganah, the Jewish underground paramilitary organization. Here, she trained as a sniper, demonstrating her unyielding spirit and determination to fight for survival and justice. A serious injury from a bomb explosion during her service did not deter her; instead, it reinforced her resilience and commitment to her goals.
After establishing the State of Israel, Ruth moved to Paris, where she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. Her thirst for knowledge and passion for education led her to the United States in 1956, where she continued her studies, earning a Master’s degree in Sociology from The New School and later a Doctorate in Education from Columbia University.
These early experiences of displacement, loss, and survival instilled in Dr. Ruth a profound understanding of human suffering and the importance of human connection. Her journey from a war-torn Europe to the forefront of sex education in America is a testament to her extraordinary resilience, indomitable spirit, and unwavering commitment to improving the lives of others.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer's life was filled with remarkable personal anecdotes highlighting her resilience, humor, and zest for life. Here are a few memorable ones:
1. The Bombing Incident:
During her time with the Haganah, Dr. Ruth experienced a life-changing event. She was severely injured by a bomb explosion, which left her unable to walk for months. Despite the severity of her injuries, she never lost her spirit. This incident not only demonstrated her physical resilience but also her determination to overcome adversity. Years later, she would joke about this part of her past, saying, "That’s why I’m such a short person—I was in bed for so long that I didn’t grow taller!"
2. Finding Love in America:
When Dr. Ruth moved to the United States, she was a single mother working hard to support herself and her daughter. Her love life unexpectedly turned when she met Manfred Westheimer at a Jewish singles event. The two quickly fell in love and married in 1961. Dr. Ruth often shared how Manfred was her rock, supporting her through thick and thin. Their marriage was a beautiful partnership, filled with mutual respect and deep affection.
3. The Radio Show Gamble:
Dr. Ruth's breakthrough moment came with her radio show, "Sexually Speaking." She was initially hesitant, uncertain about how the public would react to candid discussions about sex. However, she took a chance, and the show quickly became a sensation. She later reminisced about how she recorded the show in a makeshift studio in her apartment, with her children asleep in the next room. Her gamble paid off, and she became a household name, helping millions navigate their sexual health and relationships.
4. Overcoming Academic Challenges:
Despite her eventual academic success, Dr. Ruth faced significant challenges when she first arrived in the United States. Her early experiences included working as a maid to support herself while studying. She often recounted a humorous yet humbling moment when she had to scrub floors just hours before attending a class at Columbia University. These stories underscored her incredible work ethic and determination to succeed.
5. The Lady on the Subway:
Dr. Ruth was known for her approachable nature and love of interacting with people. One delightful anecdote involves a chance encounter on the New York City subway. She was recognized by a fellow passenger who nervously asked her for advice about a personal relationship issue. True to form, Dr. Ruth offered thoughtful, straightforward advice right there on the train, much to the surprise and gratitude of the passenger. This story encapsulates her dedication to helping others, regardless of time or place.
6. Dancing at 90:
Even in her later years, Dr. Ruth's energy and enthusiasm were infectious. On her 90th birthday, she celebrated by dancing the night away with friends and family. She often said staying active and engaged was her secret to a long and happy life. Her love for dancing and socializing was a testament to her belief in the joy of living fully.
These personal anecdotes paint a vivid picture of Dr. Ruth Westheimer as a woman of incredible strength, warmth, and humor. Her life story is one of professional success but also one of personal triumphs and enduring positivity.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer was known for her insightful, candid, and often humorous quotes. Here are some of her most memorable sayings:
1. On Sexuality and Relationships:
- "Sex is good for you. It’s an integral human experience vital to a happy, healthy life."
- "When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears."
2. On Communication:
- "Listen. Don't just wait for your turn to talk. Communication is the key to a good sex life and a good relationship."
- "Communication is not only the essence of being human but also a vital life property."
3. On Empowerment:
- "You have to permit yourself to be sexual. You have to permit yourself to be happy."
- "My advice is to go for happiness and be your best."
4. On Resilience:
- "I’m a survivor in many ways. My philosophy is that if you’re faced with a mountain, you climb it. If you can’t climb it, you walk around it. If you can’t walk around it, you stop and have a cup of tea."
5. On Humor:
- "Sex is not just the icing on the cake. It’s an essential part of the cake itself."
- "Don’t put yourself down because of your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You have to laugh about it and learn from it."
6. On Aging:
- "I'm 4 feet 7 inches tall, and when I walk down the street, I want to be sure that everyone can see my personality, not just my height."
- "Getting older is no reason to stop having fun. It’s all the more reason to enjoy every moment."
7. On Education:
- "The more we talk about sex, the more we educate ourselves, the healthier we become."
- "An educated mind is a healthy mind, which can lead to a healthy body and relationships."
8. On Self-Acceptance:
- "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Self-respect and self-love are vital."
- "Accept yourself the way you are. Otherwise, you will never see an opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward that opportunity."
9. On Life:
- "Life is short, and it’s up to you to make it sweet."
- "Enjoy life! There's plenty of time to be dead."
Dr. Ruth's quotes reflect her positive outlook on life, dedication to education and communication, and belief in the importance of love and self-acceptance. Her words continue to inspire and guide many personally and professionally.
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